Have you ever seen one of our Military walking past you and wanted to
convey to them your thanks, but weren't sure how or it felt awkward?
Recently, a gentleman from Seattle created a gesture which could be
used and has started a massive movement to get the word out.
Please everybody take just a moment to watch. This is a great lesson
for the next generations too.... The Gratitude Campaign ...and then
forward it to your family and friends!
http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/shortmovie.php
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Why Is It?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are a billion stars in the universe, you'll believe him, but if he tells you that a wall has wet paint, you'll have to touch it to be sure?
Why do we press harder on our remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Deep in the jungle, why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Why is it that people who spend their day sitting down ofter earn more than people who spend their day working on their feet?
Even notice that when you blow in a dog's face he doesn't like it, but when you take him for a ride in the car, he sticks his head out the window?
Why is it that people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours?
Why do we press harder on our remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Deep in the jungle, why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Why is it that people who spend their day sitting down ofter earn more than people who spend their day working on their feet?
Even notice that when you blow in a dog's face he doesn't like it, but when you take him for a ride in the car, he sticks his head out the window?
Why is it that people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours?
7 Signs You're addicted to Chocolate
1. You consider the little white flags on Hershey's Kisses a sign of surrender.
2. You filled your gourmet pepper mill with fudge sprinkles. (Now I know what to do with my pepper mill.)
3. Hold the ranch-your salad dressing of choice is Hershey's Syrup.
4. You named your children Godiva, Ghiradellie, and Chip.
5. The license plate on your sporty brown coupe reads COCO2DI4. ( I actually looked at a chocolate brown car in the grocery store parking lot once and wondered if I could afford it when I bought mine, it was an Infinity like the Murano, so no)
6. Chocolate never melts in your hands-it doesn't have the time.
7. Your husband affectionately calls you Countess Chocula.
2. You filled your gourmet pepper mill with fudge sprinkles. (Now I know what to do with my pepper mill.)
3. Hold the ranch-your salad dressing of choice is Hershey's Syrup.
4. You named your children Godiva, Ghiradellie, and Chip.
5. The license plate on your sporty brown coupe reads COCO2DI4. ( I actually looked at a chocolate brown car in the grocery store parking lot once and wondered if I could afford it when I bought mine, it was an Infinity like the Murano, so no)
6. Chocolate never melts in your hands-it doesn't have the time.
7. Your husband affectionately calls you Countess Chocula.
What is Wrong With YOU?
This morning on the radio I heard two women spent the weekend stealing flowers off graves. They caught one of them with a truck full of flowers. What kind of person does that and what were they gonna do with the flowers? When I hear people do things that are bad it makes me wonder why don't they put those thoughts to good use?
Those who were figuring out ways to steal people's checks from the government should figure out ways to put those thoughts to good use, like how to prevent people from being scammed.
I do believe the devil is at work and we need to kick him to the curb.
Those who were figuring out ways to steal people's checks from the government should figure out ways to put those thoughts to good use, like how to prevent people from being scammed.
I do believe the devil is at work and we need to kick him to the curb.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Lexophiles: Some Will Make You Think
LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off; He 's all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shakey ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
He broke into song because he cou l dn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off; He 's all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shakey ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
He broke into song because he cou l dn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Wicked
So I saw Wicked over the weekend. It was good, the woman who played Glenda the Good Witch was perfect for the part. The two strong female witches were great. Would I see it again, no. Somehow from all the hype I expected it to wow me like Phantom or Cats but alas it did not. I would say if you can get tickets and not pay a fortune to go cos the talent and stage are worth seeing.
Hope everyone enjoyed a holiday weekend, rained here off and on which meant I got lots done inside instead of the outside work I wanted to do. Oh well.
BTW the yarn harlot turns 40 on June 14th which also happend to coincide with Knit in Public Day so while I am at my niece's graduation I will be knitting in honor of the one and only Yarn Harlot.
And last but not least, thanks to all those who have fought for the freedoms I always take for granted.
Hope everyone enjoyed a holiday weekend, rained here off and on which meant I got lots done inside instead of the outside work I wanted to do. Oh well.
BTW the yarn harlot turns 40 on June 14th which also happend to coincide with Knit in Public Day so while I am at my niece's graduation I will be knitting in honor of the one and only Yarn Harlot.
And last but not least, thanks to all those who have fought for the freedoms I always take for granted.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
American Idol
First of all Congrats to David Cook, I didn't think he was going to win but he skunked little David. Simon's face said it all with the smirk like thank goodness DC is marketable, DA is not.
The show gets worse and worse as they make us sit in agony while old rockers and bad singers wile away the time til the moment we have waited for for 5 months. How old is George MIchael looking and Bryan Adams. I like them both but. I also like Seal but Donna Summers keeps coming on and her 15 minutes of fame is OVER like Paula. Good thing Paula kept the girls in cos they were on the verge of popping when the guy in the white suit sang the you are my brother song. And who were those boys that could not sing, never heard of them, I assume they learned to not sing the same place Miley Cyrus did.
I was hoping Melinda and Bo were singing as I saw them in the audience. I sure hope Carrie had panties on, and I am so sick of her and she has gone Hollywood anorexic.
About the only think I liked about last night's show was DC singing with ZZ Top and Seal singing but not with Syesha and of course DC winning.
Well it is over and So You Think YOu Can Dance starts tonight. I do like that show, this is truly a case of white woman can't dance and am amazed as to how they can.
INteresting the Ford Mustangs went out the door for Hybrids, that is a cheat. But with gas inching towards $4/gallon here I can sort of understand. Hope they don't have to pay taxes on those new cars, DA is still in school and DC will have to tend a lot of bar.
The show gets worse and worse as they make us sit in agony while old rockers and bad singers wile away the time til the moment we have waited for for 5 months. How old is George MIchael looking and Bryan Adams. I like them both but. I also like Seal but Donna Summers keeps coming on and her 15 minutes of fame is OVER like Paula. Good thing Paula kept the girls in cos they were on the verge of popping when the guy in the white suit sang the you are my brother song. And who were those boys that could not sing, never heard of them, I assume they learned to not sing the same place Miley Cyrus did.
I was hoping Melinda and Bo were singing as I saw them in the audience. I sure hope Carrie had panties on, and I am so sick of her and she has gone Hollywood anorexic.
About the only think I liked about last night's show was DC singing with ZZ Top and Seal singing but not with Syesha and of course DC winning.
Well it is over and So You Think YOu Can Dance starts tonight. I do like that show, this is truly a case of white woman can't dance and am amazed as to how they can.
INteresting the Ford Mustangs went out the door for Hybrids, that is a cheat. But with gas inching towards $4/gallon here I can sort of understand. Hope they don't have to pay taxes on those new cars, DA is still in school and DC will have to tend a lot of bar.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
American Idol
Another beautiful sunrise with a ball of orange amidst the pinks/yellows/orange colors against a pale blue sky. Makes for a great drive to work.
Can we get any hammier on Idol than this season, what was with the Rocky and fighting stuff. When Simon said you should hate your competition David Cook said no he could not hate David A. It was obvious DA came to win last night, he was good. DC was off, was it his brother's illness, does he not care if he wins cos he knows he is marketable and will get a deal, or was it nerves. Whatever it was he was not on game at all. His songs were ok for him.
I think DA will win because of how the judges gushed over him and his fan base has nothing to do but sit and text theirselves into oblivion. However DC is the marketable one and will be just fine, perhaps another Daughtry.
Can we get any hammier on Idol than this season, what was with the Rocky and fighting stuff. When Simon said you should hate your competition David Cook said no he could not hate David A. It was obvious DA came to win last night, he was good. DC was off, was it his brother's illness, does he not care if he wins cos he knows he is marketable and will get a deal, or was it nerves. Whatever it was he was not on game at all. His songs were ok for him.
I think DA will win because of how the judges gushed over him and his fan base has nothing to do but sit and text theirselves into oblivion. However DC is the marketable one and will be just fine, perhaps another Daughtry.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Oh Deer
This morning as I was driving to work I saw a doe amble across the community college parking lot. Was she late to class, where was she going, out for a run? It struck me as funny to find a doe running across the college parking lot at 6am.
The sun was beautiful this morning all yellow and orange and I actually had to wear my sunglasses part of the way to work.
So tonight is my TV night, 2 hours of NCIS finale, IDOL last two Davids standing, Dancing with the Stars finale, will gagamuchi win--I hope not, Law and Order SVU and whew my dvr will be spinning.
Which David wins, does it matter for David Cook, while i like David A, is he marketable and Cook will get a deal not matter whether he is one or two.
The sun was beautiful this morning all yellow and orange and I actually had to wear my sunglasses part of the way to work.
So tonight is my TV night, 2 hours of NCIS finale, IDOL last two Davids standing, Dancing with the Stars finale, will gagamuchi win--I hope not, Law and Order SVU and whew my dvr will be spinning.
Which David wins, does it matter for David Cook, while i like David A, is he marketable and Cook will get a deal not matter whether he is one or two.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Joyce Meyer
Friday and Saturday were spent with Joyce Meyer and hundreds of other people. I have to say she is as amazing in person as on TV, she made us laugh, think, cry, and ponder our lives. She is so down to earth and so is her husband. He came out Friday and talked for a few minutes on why America is falling apart, this country was founded on religious freedom and now it is being taken away because we have let it.
I was very upset no media attention, no ads in the paper, no TV or radio crews present but one religious radio station, nothing. However that did not stop people from getting to the conference and worshipping.
I think one of the things she said that stuck out most to me is Silence is Agreement. If we don't speak up then no one knows we are opposed to anything. Unfortunately I don't have that problem, sometimes I speak out too much but people always know where I stand. So America stand up for yourselves, tell Congress we are tired of the war, the immigrants, the crap going on, bring prayer and the Pledge back to the schools where they belong, put criminals away-no more deals. It is time we take America back. After all look what Daniel and David did with their faith.
If you ever get a chance to hear her speak, you should go, her conferences are free and not much in life is free anymore without a price to pay later.
I was very upset no media attention, no ads in the paper, no TV or radio crews present but one religious radio station, nothing. However that did not stop people from getting to the conference and worshipping.
I think one of the things she said that stuck out most to me is Silence is Agreement. If we don't speak up then no one knows we are opposed to anything. Unfortunately I don't have that problem, sometimes I speak out too much but people always know where I stand. So America stand up for yourselves, tell Congress we are tired of the war, the immigrants, the crap going on, bring prayer and the Pledge back to the schools where they belong, put criminals away-no more deals. It is time we take America back. After all look what Daniel and David did with their faith.
If you ever get a chance to hear her speak, you should go, her conferences are free and not much in life is free anymore without a price to pay later.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
American Idol
Ok so I forgot we had to waste an hour last night and what better way to do so than to take their trips home with them. Of course they are emotional because think in a contest of over 100,000 you are in the top 3, there are thousands of fans in your hometown proud of you because you are one of those top 3. Why does Ryan act like no one has a heart like him. He pissed me off. However the best part of last night was when Fantasia did her, oh my what the heck was that dance and song and they panned to Simon's face. He was in horror, it was pretty bad, black girl can't dance or sing that song. And what was up with the red hair?
Syesha going home was sort of no surprise but she went out with grace and I feel she would do well on Broadway. So which David takes the prize and which one gets to do what they want? David A has the screaming 12 year olds with nothing better to do than text 400 times a minute while David C has a large adult fan base. Speaking of David C fans, there was a girl from Conneticut who flew out when he came home and spent the day. How much money does she have that she can waste like that, why not go to LA for the final show instead if you are wasting money. She got a plane ticket, hotel, rental car, tickets to the ball game and all for a chance to see him from a distance in person, she needs a life.
Will be interesting to see what they are singing next week.
Syesha going home was sort of no surprise but she went out with grace and I feel she would do well on Broadway. So which David takes the prize and which one gets to do what they want? David A has the screaming 12 year olds with nothing better to do than text 400 times a minute while David C has a large adult fan base. Speaking of David C fans, there was a girl from Conneticut who flew out when he came home and spent the day. How much money does she have that she can waste like that, why not go to LA for the final show instead if you are wasting money. She got a plane ticket, hotel, rental car, tickets to the ball game and all for a chance to see him from a distance in person, she needs a life.
Will be interesting to see what they are singing next week.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
American Idol
Ok we are down to the last three and yet where is the wow factor. This year's contestants are good but they are not WOW. I give David A an A-, B-, and B+. I give Syesha a B, B-, B. I give David C an A, B, B+. It seems the judges have both Davids in the finale next week, now which one wins.
They sure did not show much of their time home considering David C probably attended at least half a dozen events last Friday if not more, oh well with 9 songs and Ryan yakking, they don't have much time for anything else.
They sure did not show much of their time home considering David C probably attended at least half a dozen events last Friday if not more, oh well with 9 songs and Ryan yakking, they don't have much time for anything else.
Joyce Meyer, Annie Modesitt, Scissor Grinders, and hrc
This weekend Joyce Meyer is coming to town, she has never been here before. I can't wait to go see her. Also Annie Modesitt is coming to town and while I would like to go see her as well, Joyce takes priority. In case you don't know who these ladies are: Joyce Meyer is an evangelist, she is funny and good, kind of a female Billy Graham. Annie Modesitt (aka knitting heretic) is almost the equivalent of the Yarn Harlt, big name in the knitting world. God or knitting, I know it is a tough decision for me, but God won.
The Scissor Grinders have started, what you ask is a Scissor Grinder. Well when I was little and we lived in LA the Scissor Grinders would drive around with their music on, so my parents said. My cousin informed me they were actually the ice cream truck, my parents lied to me so I would not ask for ice cream. So ever since when I hear the Ice Cream Trucks out I always call my mom and tell her the Scissor Grinders are out. Can you imagine parents lying to their small children over ice cream. Shameful.
I heard this morning HRC was $20 million in the hole on her campaign, how much money is that and do you know how much charity work can be done with that kind of money. She has used $11 million of her money, aren't they bankrupt and where does a Senator and ex President get that kind of money, oh I remember, dead people, I see dead people in her past. I know she did not get convicted but she is a criminal remember that for those of you seem to think a Socialist criminal should be President.
The Scissor Grinders have started, what you ask is a Scissor Grinder. Well when I was little and we lived in LA the Scissor Grinders would drive around with their music on, so my parents said. My cousin informed me they were actually the ice cream truck, my parents lied to me so I would not ask for ice cream. So ever since when I hear the Ice Cream Trucks out I always call my mom and tell her the Scissor Grinders are out. Can you imagine parents lying to their small children over ice cream. Shameful.
I heard this morning HRC was $20 million in the hole on her campaign, how much money is that and do you know how much charity work can be done with that kind of money. She has used $11 million of her money, aren't they bankrupt and where does a Senator and ex President get that kind of money, oh I remember, dead people, I see dead people in her past. I know she did not get convicted but she is a criminal remember that for those of you seem to think a Socialist criminal should be President.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
The March of Obsolescence
There is an australian website www.obsoleteskills.com devoted to the memory of such things as hand rolling down a window in your car. HOw about dialing a rotary telephone, changing the ribbon on a typewriter, rewinding audio or video cassettes, adjusting the rabbit ears on your TV, checking your beeper, formatting a floppy disk, loading film into a camera, using a darkroom, licking stamps, paying with a check (ok I still do this), using the Dewey Decimal system to find a book in the library, long division by hand, ripping the trim off computer paper, heating a tv dinner in the oven, riding a single speed bike, using correction fluid, putting a nickel in the jukebox, defrosting the frig, using carbon paper to make copies, sniffing freshly memeographed tests (all the more reason to be a teacher or helper) and the purple ink on the tests that smeared, milk deliveries and crawling under a door of a pay toilet.
Awwww the good ole days. Other things I remember are playing in the sprinkler in the front yard with the neighbor kids, writing term papers long hand on paper, no computers or calculators in high school or college, getting up to change the TV station, no computers or cable, and the list goes on and on.
Awwww the good ole days. Other things I remember are playing in the sprinkler in the front yard with the neighbor kids, writing term papers long hand on paper, no computers or calculators in high school or college, getting up to change the TV station, no computers or cable, and the list goes on and on.
Kids or not this is hilarious
> Potty Stop>> A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's rest-room stall.> By Shannon Popkin>> My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked.
There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco. Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the rest-room. If you'd been one of the ladies in the rest-room that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:'Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?' At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.Cade continued, 'Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh .. Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!' I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.Trying to divert him, I said, 'Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy we'll both have some!' ' No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!' He started to gag at this point. 'Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!' As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone. 'Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!' He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. 'Oh, are you looking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?' More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.'Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.' He started pounding on the door. 'Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!' I saw that my 'wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, 20 to 30 ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought,
'Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?' But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.
There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco. Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the rest-room. If you'd been one of the ladies in the rest-room that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:'Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?' At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.Cade continued, 'Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh .. Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!' I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.Trying to divert him, I said, 'Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy we'll both have some!' ' No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!' He started to gag at this point. 'Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!' As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone. 'Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!' He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. 'Oh, are you looking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?' More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.'Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.' He started pounding on the door. 'Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!' I saw that my 'wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, 20 to 30 ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought,
'Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?' But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.
The 12 Opossums
The 12 Opossums
The more you know, the funnier it is. I laughed until I had tears running down my face! You simply must read these observations on the Bible! If the story of Joshua does not make you howl, then you are not alive!
The following is from a lady in Oregon . It is priceless! The Bible explained by kids - truth has been redefined!
One of our favorite jobs has been leading junior church. We try to do more than baby-sit our church's beloved little ankle-biters during their time in our special junior church facility. We aim to give them a solid background In biblical history. At the end of each year, we give them pencils and paper And ask them to chronicle what they have learned. This assignment never fails to elicit some intriguing responses. In case you're a little foggy on your biblical history, let our junior church students help you with his complete overview of the Bible, compiled from their essays:
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, Darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,' but I Think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a Light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and Made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then He gave them His top ten commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's bottom (the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not supposed to say. But my Dad uses it sometimes when he talks about the President). Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua, who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 Porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyway's, Jesus died for our sins, then came back To life again. He went up to Heaven, but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
There! Now you understand it.
The more you know, the funnier it is. I laughed until I had tears running down my face! You simply must read these observations on the Bible! If the story of Joshua does not make you howl, then you are not alive!
The following is from a lady in Oregon . It is priceless! The Bible explained by kids - truth has been redefined!
One of our favorite jobs has been leading junior church. We try to do more than baby-sit our church's beloved little ankle-biters during their time in our special junior church facility. We aim to give them a solid background In biblical history. At the end of each year, we give them pencils and paper And ask them to chronicle what they have learned. This assignment never fails to elicit some intriguing responses. In case you're a little foggy on your biblical history, let our junior church students help you with his complete overview of the Bible, compiled from their essays:
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, Darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,' but I Think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a Light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and Made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then He gave them His top ten commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's bottom (the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not supposed to say. But my Dad uses it sometimes when he talks about the President). Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua, who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 Porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyway's, Jesus died for our sins, then came back To life again. He went up to Heaven, but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
There! Now you understand it.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Funky Monkey
Finally I got my Funky Monkey kit on Thursday when I got home. I ordered it a week ago on Thursday at 6:30 am my time. Which means by the time they got to work they should have processed the order that day. Well my order got mailed a week ago today. I have to say I may think twice about ordering from them again. ANyway I made my first one and I came up with a whole list of monkeys I need to make. My first one did not look like a monkey to me so I re-wrote the pattern for my future ones. I knitted the mouth for 2 rows before I started the decreases, and the same with the tail area. I also figured out how to wy the arms so they don't have to be sewed on later. I named him Pimp Daddy, not a good picture but they are really cute. They take about 4 hours to make because they have too many pieces and small things to be done. So I am making a scrapbook of my monkeys. I introduce Pimp Daddy to you. These are made with sock yarn, however I have one on the needles now with dishcloth yarn. It is a little larger but it looks better with the mouth and tail larger.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
The Power of Yarn
A recent study indicated that Yarn and thread gives off certain Pheromonesthat actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts.When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in theyarn) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food), therefore perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others. Sound tests have also revealed that these yarns emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as "knitters".When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, hook me,and wind me in a ball."In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these yarns cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use earplugs to avoid being pulled into their grip.(One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a yarn store, withWW2 Army gas masks and headphones!) . Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these yarns have on the human population. They are called "YARN STORE CLERKS".It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these yarn purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by a significant other if the yarn is new, the reply is, "I've had it for awhile."
The Land That Made Me Me
Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn,We spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn.We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,And Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since. We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me Me.
Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to seeA boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me Me.
We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,And when they made a movie, they never made it twice.We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me Me.
Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T ,And Oprah couldn't talk, yet, in the Land That Made Me Me.
We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me Me.
We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led.And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,Madonna was a virgin in the Land That Made Me Me.
We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,And babies might be bottle-fed, but they weren't grown in jars.And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,And dorms were never coed in the Land That Made Me Me.
We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.And Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me Me.
Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me Me.
We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal teaOr prime-time ads for condoms in the Land That Made Me Me.
There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill.And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me Me.
But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.They send us invitations to join AARP,We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me Me.
So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me Me.
Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to seeA boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me Me.
We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,And when they made a movie, they never made it twice.We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me Me.
Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T ,And Oprah couldn't talk, yet, in the Land That Made Me Me.
We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me Me.
We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led.And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,Madonna was a virgin in the Land That Made Me Me.
We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,And babies might be bottle-fed, but they weren't grown in jars.And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,And dorms were never coed in the Land That Made Me Me.
We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.And Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me Me.
Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me Me.
We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal teaOr prime-time ads for condoms in the Land That Made Me Me.
There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill.And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me Me.
But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.They send us invitations to join AARP,We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me Me.
So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me Me.
American Idol
The only reason to watch Idol last night was because Bo was on. He has always been my fav Idol. In case you dont know he was #2 Season 4 behind Carrie PUKEwood. I think one of the best songs on Idol ever was when he did his audition song acapella. Gave me chills.
No surprise Jason went home, he cares not he is so high. I won't even talk about Maroon 5, I muted them, I so don't care for them, the singer creeps me out, how arrogant is he?
Will Syesha go home next week? Ryan said no more than a million votes separated the top 3, guess it depends on how she does, I still think the 2 Davids will be the last two, but this year has been full of upsets.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
American Idol
Before I get started on the sort of train wreck last night, the sky was absolutely breathtaking this morning, wish I had my camera.
Was David Cook off last night, he did not seem on game to me. I give him a B, B.
Jason was obviously on some serious trip, I give him a D-, D and he pulled a Brooke and forgot the words but at least he went on and did not ask for a do over.
Syesha-you will never be Tina Turner, don't even try, C,C. Her second song bored me and Sam Cooke, well you can't do that either.
David A-B+ and A-, I really liked the last song he did til the very end, no way.
Bye bye Jason, if he does not go home then there are a lot of voters on drugs.
I see Mario went home on Dancing with the Stars, he had run his course as well. NO loss there.
Was David Cook off last night, he did not seem on game to me. I give him a B, B.
Jason was obviously on some serious trip, I give him a D-, D and he pulled a Brooke and forgot the words but at least he went on and did not ask for a do over.
Syesha-you will never be Tina Turner, don't even try, C,C. Her second song bored me and Sam Cooke, well you can't do that either.
David A-B+ and A-, I really liked the last song he did til the very end, no way.
Bye bye Jason, if he does not go home then there are a lot of voters on drugs.
I see Mario went home on Dancing with the Stars, he had run his course as well. NO loss there.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Patience
Last week finally Blue Moon Fiber Arts had the sock monkey pattern up for sale. The Yarn Harlot's blog said it would be a week before it was ready for sale but it was more like two weeks. Yes when a knitter finds a pattern or yarn she wants it NOW. So here I am Wednesday morning at 6:30am on their website checking every 15 minutes, mind you they are two hours behind me, but hey they said wednesday, shouldn't that mean anyone on Wed could get it no matter what the time? Patience gone at 1pm my time I called, well it should be about 3:30 our time, ok by the time I got home it should be there, nope, not even at 7:45 so I gave up. Thursday morning I looked and there it is the pattern and kits, so no patience me ordered a kit and a pattern thinking perhaps the pattern would be pdf'ed to me in an hour. NOPE. How can they do this to me? So now I await the pattern and my kit. I could have at least one monkey done over the weekend. I do have plans for various monkeys for the people in my life to give as gifts and make a scrapbook. You will see them here as they get created.
I picked up the Yarn Harlot's new book: Things I Learned from Knitting...whether I wanted to or not. She talks about knitters being patient, well only when we are knitting. Take our knitting away and we pace like a chicken with its head cut off spurting blood all over, ok we spew venom cos our knitting has been taken away. It is a little pocket book. Buy a copy you will laugh your arse off.
I picked up the Yarn Harlot's new book: Things I Learned from Knitting...whether I wanted to or not. She talks about knitters being patient, well only when we are knitting. Take our knitting away and we pace like a chicken with its head cut off spurting blood all over, ok we spew venom cos our knitting has been taken away. It is a little pocket book. Buy a copy you will laugh your arse off.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
America Finally Got It Right
I was hooping and hollering cos Brooke finally got booted off the island and what a big old baby was she? Stop the blubbering, how unprofessional and she was on way longer than she should, I would never have picked her to be in the top 20. She has proceeded to slide down the awful hill for many weeks now. I thought Jason may have been in trouble but I still his cuteness keeps him in the competition but next week will be interesting to see who goes. Will it be an all male top 3?
Why did Ryan feel it necessary to apologize for Paula being really doped up and being her usual stupid self? Are we to feel sorry for her? I dont' think so, she is a very insecure baby who should just call it quits.
Neil Diamond can't sing in my opinion and his song sucked. Who is Natasha Beddingfield, she was ok. The medley sucked big time, one of their worst. And of course we had more stupid questions.
They did tease us with So You Think You Can Dance, which I like, those kids have tons of talent, but the lady judge bothers me as much as Paula does in a different way and when she screams, well that is just wrong.
Why did Ryan feel it necessary to apologize for Paula being really doped up and being her usual stupid self? Are we to feel sorry for her? I dont' think so, she is a very insecure baby who should just call it quits.
Neil Diamond can't sing in my opinion and his song sucked. Who is Natasha Beddingfield, she was ok. The medley sucked big time, one of their worst. And of course we had more stupid questions.
They did tease us with So You Think You Can Dance, which I like, those kids have tons of talent, but the lady judge bothers me as much as Paula does in a different way and when she screams, well that is just wrong.
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