Monday, May 22, 2017

I Am No Longer Safe Even In My Own Home

As we progress into 2017, I want to thank you all for your educational Facebook posts over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.
I must send my special thanks for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO,now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.
I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow-up in my face, disfiguring me for life.
I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.
I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me..
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
Thanks to you I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician!
Oh, and by the way...
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read Facebook posts with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by a Facebook post that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Reviving the Gym Clothes

When I was in Junior High we had these gym clothes, they were bright blue and one piece.  They were a bitch to iron as they were cotton and one piece. If you had to pee you better get a head start trying to get out of that thing before you already went. Now men are getting into the gym clothes of yesteryear.  Really who thinks these are attractive.  What man would be caught dead wearing these?

http://www.esquire.com/style/mens-fashion/news/a55081/romper-for-men-romphim/


Monday, May 15, 2017

Camp Loopy June

It is time for Camp Loopy again.  This summer we are experiencing dinosaurs.  When I was a kid I had several blue and purple plastic dinosaurs that were several inches tall.  I loved them.  So I am using a potholder pattern and expanding it to a rug in lemon yellow for my main bathroom upstairs.  Go to the Loopy Ewe blog and check out Camp Loopy and join in.  It is a lot of fun.  You get put in a group to share your virtual camp with your group and get lots of great patterns to make in the future.

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/fanciful-flower-potholders

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Hostas

The hostas are having a great Spring.  The one is out of control.  This fall I may to take the day lily out and put it some place else and the small hosta on the other side of the monster may need moving as well.  I have one out front but the rest are in this one bed.  One thing about hostas is the weeding is pretty non-existent.




Thursday, May 11, 2017

Crazy Kitty

There is a long hair tortoise shell colored cat that lives across the street. I think she is a little bit crazy but she is a sweet cat.  She lets me pet her and I tell her not to eat my birds.  This morning she was sitting in the flower bed where my lizards live. I told her no lizards.  A few hours later I saw her playing with something in the yard, so I ran out and she caught a mole.  I praised her and she is back sitting watch again.  I guess she can stay now that she has earned her keep.  I also noticed my wild strawberries are turning red. I don't eat them but leave them for the birds.



Already?

Since this post is about birds I had my first hummingbird this morning.  Let the season begin.

The eagles are growing faster than we can keep track. The past couple this one probably D26 has been self feeding, does not seem like he should be doing that yet, but he is.  Not sure what is going on with my PC, google is all messed up this morning.  So twist your head until I can figure out how to rotate.

The tail feathers coming in look like darts.



Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Decorah Eagles

I can't believe how big 26, 27, and 28 are now.  The color has sure changed and you can see the color difference 4 days makes.  In a month we will be holding our breath as they flap their wings, get a little hover going and start up the skywalk preparing to fledge.

Tajiri

Dad, can you come play with me?



Mom she is not one of us.  Alyssa and April having a quiet moment.




Can he get any cuter?

Mom, she does not smell like you?  Can I like her?


It is Almost Cocoon Time

The big boys have found the new milkweed and have really grown in the past couple days.  It is almost time for these 3 to cocoon and then I will  have butterflies and start the cycle all over again.  So exciting to watch nature in my own flower bed. (If you click on the pictures you can see them better.  The top picture has 2 and the bottom picture has one.)



Friday, May 05, 2017

Cool Temps and Plenty of Rain

I love pansies and violas or johnny jump-ups.  However our summers here are not good for them.  Right now the temps and rain is good and they are showing all their glory.  I may move the violas out to the shade part of the yard to see if they will survive the summer although they may still wither with the temps we often get. So for now I will enjoy their beauty.



Quit Eating So Much

The caterpillars have devoured the first plant and have found the 2nd one.  Since they are small ones and they are eating through them in less than 2 weeks, I went in search of some more.  I got 3 big plants that have buds to bloom and got some fennel for the butterflies.  I asked the lady about why at certain times of the day they appear to be gone she said they eat when it is cool, that makes sense, so when I got out at various times they may be hiding in the shade so they don't get too hot.  New plants are in the ground waiting for new caterpillars.