Feeling All Alone

Today it is dark and cloudy and there are threats of that white stuff that my dad and I hated so much, yep snow.  I got 2 pieces of mail on how to deal with the loss of a parent.  I don't need a book or pamphlet to tell me how I might feel or how to deal with it, I need my dad back.  I am not one to feel alone or lonely but today I do.  More cards of beautiful words from people wanting me to now they are thinking of me and praying for me.  I don't feel any of the stages except I just miss my dad.  I know he is at peace now and that is what is best for him but... I don't have anyone to watch baseball with any more, or cuss at the democrats for how they are ruining the country, or solve the world's problems, or him sharing his chocolate with me, or us sneaking a cup of coffee in the afternoon when mom is not home, or all the other simple things we did.  Is it supposed to hurt this much, like my heart has been ripped out.  I just miss my dad.