12 Days of Christmas

So this year if you can't decide on what kind of gift to get someone there is always the gifts from the song: 12 Days of Christmas. This year the cost for all 12 days is $86,609 compared to $78,100 last year. What do you get for your money? Glad you asked.

The partridge costs $20 but what do you do with a partridge, where do you keep it? So the bird is cheap the supplies aren't. Can you eat a partridge.

The pear tree is $200, but you can't plant a pear tree just any part of the country and if you keep your partridge in the pear tree, what keeps the bird from flying away? I dont think either of these are very practical gifts.

Two turtledoves are $55, you can get them free from my deck, I must have a dozen or so, maybe I can make some money out of my backyard selling turtle doves. Again more birds and what do you do with them, I do know people eat doves.

French hens are $30, again with the birds, what do you do with them. Who wrote this song and thought they were great gifts, did this guy do drugs?

Calling birds are $600, they are canaries, do they really cost that much and what do they call out? Stop with the birds already, who asks for birds for a Christmas gift.

Five Gold Rings $350, finally maybe something someone can use but 5? Do you wear them on one hand but not the other or do you start and count every other finger including thumbs? I would want a little stone or something like tanzanite or black coral to go with those plain gold rings.

Geese a laying $240, omg stop already with the birds, was this guy a real birdbrain? Someone have a passion for birds? So how come the big birds cost less than the little birds?

Swans a swimming $5600 Wow these babies are expensive and where do you keep them, how many people have a pond to keep the geese and swan in. what do all these birds eat?

Maids a milking $52. These ladies dont even make minimum wage and what are they milking, what do you with the milk and do you have to pay their FICA, etc.

Ladies dancing $4,759. Perhaps the maids a milking should take dance lessons, that is where the money is and what kind of dance do these ladies do?

Lords a leaping $4414, apparently the skills here are not as great as the ladies dancing. What would you do with a leaping lord?

Pipers Piping $2285. I have no idea what good they would be unless you had some plumbing to do.

Drummers drumming $2475. It would appear the ladies dancing make the most. All that drumming would drive me nuts.

You know, I have sang this song I don't know how many times but never really paid attention to it until the article in the paper talking about the costs. A really weird song if you ask me.