70 times a minute
1000,000 times a day
35 million times a year
It only takes you
10 minutes of daily brisk walking to cut your risk of a heart attack in half.
GET WALKING
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Bob Writes Again
Today marks the end of an era. Mr. Clean, a well known name in many households, died after flood waters dissolved him late last night. Always a bright spot to everyone that knew him, he left no one untouched. Things will never be the same now that he has left us.
At the onset of his career, many said he was all washed up. They felt he was a drop in the bucket and would never match up to the highly sanitized detergent business. To everyone's surprise he really cleaned up. He became an overnight success sparkling in the bright lights. He soaked up every moment. He never had to pine about any financial issues. He had a great scent for investments and never had to sponge off anyone.
Known to all as a bubbly type, Mr. Clean was there to help everyone. Even those with the most stained past. He was a strong advocate of ridding the world of the smut on the internet polluting our youth’s minds. He would defile those that peddled the soiled media relentlessly.
He is survived by his mother, Ma Pendle, a brother, Edward Clean, and a sister, Anita Clean-Place. His ashes with be mixed with a gallon of water and dispersed sparingly over the area.
At the onset of his career, many said he was all washed up. They felt he was a drop in the bucket and would never match up to the highly sanitized detergent business. To everyone's surprise he really cleaned up. He became an overnight success sparkling in the bright lights. He soaked up every moment. He never had to pine about any financial issues. He had a great scent for investments and never had to sponge off anyone.
Known to all as a bubbly type, Mr. Clean was there to help everyone. Even those with the most stained past. He was a strong advocate of ridding the world of the smut on the internet polluting our youth’s minds. He would defile those that peddled the soiled media relentlessly.
He is survived by his mother, Ma Pendle, a brother, Edward Clean, and a sister, Anita Clean-Place. His ashes with be mixed with a gallon of water and dispersed sparingly over the area.
Bob Strikes Again
Another popular icon has left us. MM Peanut passed shortly after being consumed by Goodin Plenty. This has prompted Congress to visit the idea of life savers being made available wherever we may be.
Known as an all round, sweet guy, MM Peanut was always there and never melted for the task in hand. Although he did take a dip now an again, his popularity was limited because he really never came out of his shell. Even though he appeared to be a hard nut to crack, he was really nothing more than a candy-coated softy. Survived by his wife, MM Plain, they produced many off spring, the latest being Bleau.
A powerhouse of popular names attending the eulogy included Mr. Goodbar, Baby Ruth, Mr. Clark, Mike & Ike, Goldenberg, and Mary Jane. The Skittles cousins were also in attendance as well as his pet Kit cat. The three Musketeers were the pall bearers. (No need for a butter finger on this duty). A very solemn ceremony where not even a chuckle or snicker was heard when a few humorous tales of his former life were told. Mounds of chunky pixie sticks lined the ceremonial grounds. The Airheads, backed up by the instrumental group Swedish Fish, played the final song, Balls of Fire, as MM Peanut was cremated.
According to sources close to the family, the funeral cost a hundred grand. It is thought to be the fact his ashes will be paraded down 5th Avenue and then rocketed into the milky way on the next shuttle flight. At least it didn’t cost a million which it would have been that much to go to mars. However, it is quite a pay day for NASA, now short of funds.
Known as an all round, sweet guy, MM Peanut was always there and never melted for the task in hand. Although he did take a dip now an again, his popularity was limited because he really never came out of his shell. Even though he appeared to be a hard nut to crack, he was really nothing more than a candy-coated softy. Survived by his wife, MM Plain, they produced many off spring, the latest being Bleau.
A powerhouse of popular names attending the eulogy included Mr. Goodbar, Baby Ruth, Mr. Clark, Mike & Ike, Goldenberg, and Mary Jane. The Skittles cousins were also in attendance as well as his pet Kit cat. The three Musketeers were the pall bearers. (No need for a butter finger on this duty). A very solemn ceremony where not even a chuckle or snicker was heard when a few humorous tales of his former life were told. Mounds of chunky pixie sticks lined the ceremonial grounds. The Airheads, backed up by the instrumental group Swedish Fish, played the final song, Balls of Fire, as MM Peanut was cremated.
According to sources close to the family, the funeral cost a hundred grand. It is thought to be the fact his ashes will be paraded down 5th Avenue and then rocketed into the milky way on the next shuttle flight. At least it didn’t cost a million which it would have been that much to go to mars. However, it is quite a pay day for NASA, now short of funds.
Monday, June 09, 2008
I can not take credit for this one either, Bob's new career
Today marks the end of an era. Michelin Mann Tyre has passed away from puncture wounds suffered from an obvious road hazard leaving behind the tracks of a true member of society. Born in a factory at the start of the 20th century, he led a life of fully inflated luxury until his bias highlighted the need for a radial change as he entered the 60's decade. He became an all round guy. His empire became an even balance of black and white. He was true to the core and didn't whitewall everything. He stuck to his objectives without sliding away from his ultimate support of the many vehicles in society.
In his later years he developed a great weight loss program "Burning Blubber", which was tantamount in eliminating worm gear disease. It opened the door for a new wave of sound know to us as Rackin' Pinion. He never had time to spare but still gave unselfishly to make sure all his members maintained a perfect balance.
His first wife, Carla Spoke, was his full support until she ran around on him and they separated. A close friend, Lusweil, introduced him to his second wife Steele Rim in the late 30s. She was at his sidewall when he let out his last bit of air.
They have one son, Tubles Tyre.
In his later years he developed a great weight loss program "Burning Blubber", which was tantamount in eliminating worm gear disease. It opened the door for a new wave of sound know to us as Rackin' Pinion. He never had time to spare but still gave unselfishly to make sure all his members maintained a perfect balance.
His first wife, Carla Spoke, was his full support until she ran around on him and they separated. A close friend, Lusweil, introduced him to his second wife Steele Rim in the late 30s. She was at his sidewall when he let out his last bit of air.
They have one son, Tubles Tyre.
I can not take credit for this
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was a doughboy during WWII. His spare time was spent on his passion of becoming an excellent toastmaster and taking walks with his dog Skippy.
Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, Sara Lee, Little Debbie, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, and Mr. Peanut. The California Raisins played "Sweet Surrender" by the 70's pop band Bread.
The grave side was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- easily conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife Croissant. They have two children and another bun in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, Sara Lee, Little Debbie, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, and Mr. Peanut. The California Raisins played "Sweet Surrender" by the 70's pop band Bread.
The grave side was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- easily conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife Croissant. They have two children and another bun in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Ice Road Truckers
Here is a show I got hooked on yesterday. I was watching the last few shows of last season and taped the season premiere. It is on the History channel on Sunday nights. These guys drive from Yellow Knife upwards to 400 miles over a frozen lake of a solid sheet of glass, they also drive at night through blinding snowstorms. Last year their goal was to make 10,000 loads before the ice started melting and they could go not get to their destination, they made 10,992 loads. They also have a contest to see who gets the most loads, the winner got 37 loads in 72 days and made almost $60K.
At first I thought these guys had a lot of faith, but I think they are just egotistical. The show will make you sit on the edge of your seat. Imagine hauling 162K tons of stuff over ice wondering if the ice will hold you and your load. Definitely not a job for me.
At first I thought these guys had a lot of faith, but I think they are just egotistical. The show will make you sit on the edge of your seat. Imagine hauling 162K tons of stuff over ice wondering if the ice will hold you and your load. Definitely not a job for me.
I Believe This Says It All
"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it."
- Barack Obama
- Barack Obama
Check Your License Plate
INFO FROM A STATE TROOPER....PLEASE READ!!!!!
A woman said her son found his license plate missing so he called the police to file a report. They told him people were stealing the plates to get free gas. Given the rise in gas prices, people have taken to stealing license plates, putting them on their car, then getting gas and running. The gas station will have "your" license plate # and you could be in trouble for "pump and run." Check your car periodically to be sure you still have a plate. If you should find it missing, file a report immediately!!! Keep an eye on your license plate! Make sure you always know it's there! When the license plate is reported as the "drive off vehicle", it's YOU they contact! Be aware!!!! Be aware of y our license plates, most of us never look to see if the plates are there or not.
PLEASE PASS ON........
A woman said her son found his license plate missing so he called the police to file a report. They told him people were stealing the plates to get free gas. Given the rise in gas prices, people have taken to stealing license plates, putting them on their car, then getting gas and running. The gas station will have "your" license plate # and you could be in trouble for "pump and run." Check your car periodically to be sure you still have a plate. If you should find it missing, file a report immediately!!! Keep an eye on your license plate! Make sure you always know it's there! When the license plate is reported as the "drive off vehicle", it's YOU they contact! Be aware!!!! Be aware of y our license plates, most of us never look to see if the plates are there or not.
PLEASE PASS ON........
Don't get too close
Friday I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie and despite what the critics say it is good. I like the young kid in the movie, he is a hoot. At the movie was some lazy person who pushed up the arms on about 4 chairs and laid down across them. What? I know movie theater chairs are not comfortable but how uncomfortable was it to lay down on them. Some people. Glad the theater was not full,what would he have done then?
So at a new Sonic for one of my favorite fast foods, a Sonic burger and cherry limeade. Two stalls from me pulls in a pickup with a guy maybe late 30's. When he sat back I saw a ceramice Collie on his dash, I am not talking about one the size of those hula girls guys have in their pickups, this thing was at least 8 inches tall and the size of a small cat. After I picked myself up off the floor laughing my arse off, I wondered what kind of guy did this and what kind of ribbing did he take from his buddies over this? Was there a wife somewhere who this belonged to or did this guy actually drive around with a ceramic collie the size of a small cat on his dash?
Stay away from these people, hopefully they are not contagious. All the more reason to carry my camera with me at ALL times.
So at a new Sonic for one of my favorite fast foods, a Sonic burger and cherry limeade. Two stalls from me pulls in a pickup with a guy maybe late 30's. When he sat back I saw a ceramice Collie on his dash, I am not talking about one the size of those hula girls guys have in their pickups, this thing was at least 8 inches tall and the size of a small cat. After I picked myself up off the floor laughing my arse off, I wondered what kind of guy did this and what kind of ribbing did he take from his buddies over this? Was there a wife somewhere who this belonged to or did this guy actually drive around with a ceramic collie the size of a small cat on his dash?
Stay away from these people, hopefully they are not contagious. All the more reason to carry my camera with me at ALL times.
WWKIPD
Unless you are a die hard knitter you probably have no idea what WWKIPD is. OK it is June 14th and World Wide Knit In Public Day. And that is where I will be smack dab in the middle of Public at my niece's graduation. I have informed my family I will be knitting on a sock of course in honor of the Yarn Harlot's 40th birthday as well. I talked to my niece on Friday and told her I really wanted her to carry my SIP (sock in progress) across the stage and she informed me grandma (my mom) would not like that and neither would her dad or my dad, so ok I will just have her hold it in her robe and snap a picture. So if you are a knitter take your knitting out in public for part of the day, sometimes you can strike up an interesting conversation with people, especially non knitters.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Thoughts
Some of these are just perfect for the impending election in November.
'If you don't read the newspaper you are
uninformed, if you do read the newspaper
you are misinformed.' Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you
were a member of Congress.... But then I
repeat myself. -Mark Twain
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself
into prosperity is like a man standing in a
bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
- Winston Churchill.
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul
can always depend on the support of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt
to his fellow man, which debt he proposes
to pay off with your money.
-G Gordon Liddy
Democracy must be something more than
two wolves and a sheep voting on what to
have for dinner. -James Bovard,
Civil Libertarian (1994)
Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer
of money from poor people in rich countries
to rich people in poor countries.
-Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at
Georgetown University
Giving money and power to government is
like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage
boys.
-P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
Government is the great fiction, through which
everybody endeavors to live at the expense of
everybody else. -Frederic Bastiat,
French Economist (1801-1850)
Government's view of the economy could be
summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves,
tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it
stops moving, subsidize it. -Ronald Reagan (1986)
I don't make jokes, I just watch the government
and report the facts. -Will Rogers
If you think health care is expensive now, wait
until you see what it costs when it's free!
-P.J. O'Rourke
In general, the art of government consists of
taking as much money as possible from one
party of the citizens to give to the other.
-Voltaire (1764)
Just because you do not take an interest in
politics doesn't mean politics won't take an
interest in you! -Pericles (430 B.C.)
No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while
the legislature is in session. -Mark Twain (1866 )
Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
-Unknown
The government is like a baby's alimentary canal,
with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other. -Ronald Reagan
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal
sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing
of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill
The only difference between a tax man and a
taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-Mark Twain
The ultimate result of shielding men from the
effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
There is no distinctly Native American criminal
class...save Congress. -Mark Twain
What this country needs are more unemployed
politicians. -Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)
A government big enough to give you everything
you want, is strong enough to take everything
you have. -Thomas Jefferson
'If you don't read the newspaper you are
uninformed, if you do read the newspaper
you are misinformed.' Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you
were a member of Congress.... But then I
repeat myself. -Mark Twain
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself
into prosperity is like a man standing in a
bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
- Winston Churchill.
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul
can always depend on the support of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt
to his fellow man, which debt he proposes
to pay off with your money.
-G Gordon Liddy
Democracy must be something more than
two wolves and a sheep voting on what to
have for dinner. -James Bovard,
Civil Libertarian (1994)
Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer
of money from poor people in rich countries
to rich people in poor countries.
-Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at
Georgetown University
Giving money and power to government is
like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage
boys.
-P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
Government is the great fiction, through which
everybody endeavors to live at the expense of
everybody else. -Frederic Bastiat,
French Economist (1801-1850)
Government's view of the economy could be
summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves,
tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it
stops moving, subsidize it. -Ronald Reagan (1986)
I don't make jokes, I just watch the government
and report the facts. -Will Rogers
If you think health care is expensive now, wait
until you see what it costs when it's free!
-P.J. O'Rourke
In general, the art of government consists of
taking as much money as possible from one
party of the citizens to give to the other.
-Voltaire (1764)
Just because you do not take an interest in
politics doesn't mean politics won't take an
interest in you! -Pericles (430 B.C.)
No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while
the legislature is in session. -Mark Twain (1866 )
Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
-Unknown
The government is like a baby's alimentary canal,
with a happy appetite at one end and no
responsibility at the other. -Ronald Reagan
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal
sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing
of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill
The only difference between a tax man and a
taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-Mark Twain
The ultimate result of shielding men from the
effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
There is no distinctly Native American criminal
class...save Congress. -Mark Twain
What this country needs are more unemployed
politicians. -Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)
A government big enough to give you everything
you want, is strong enough to take everything
you have. -Thomas Jefferson
Preparation H
Yes the guys in New York have come up with a new use for this cream. They are thinking that since it is used to shrink things it will shrink their stomach. Yes folks guys in NYC are putting this cream on their stomachs in hopes that it will shrink the fat in their stomachs. You have to marvel at all the idiocy in this country.
Have not posted much this week, too much work and too stormy at night. I don't know what is going on with the weather this year but the winter was too much snow and ice and long and now it was 80 at 6am with 100% humidity, not a comfortable way to start the day.
AND most importantly bye bye HRC, it was not a good time with you out there hawking yourself but hopefully OB will have enough sense NOT to choose you as his running mate, however, I doubt your ego will allow you to be #2, knowing the VP really does not have any power.
Have not posted much this week, too much work and too stormy at night. I don't know what is going on with the weather this year but the winter was too much snow and ice and long and now it was 80 at 6am with 100% humidity, not a comfortable way to start the day.
AND most importantly bye bye HRC, it was not a good time with you out there hawking yourself but hopefully OB will have enough sense NOT to choose you as his running mate, however, I doubt your ego will allow you to be #2, knowing the VP really does not have any power.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Ugly People
I am not talking about the physically ugly people, I am talking about the people who are ugly on the inside. I belong to several online knitting groups. One in particular one of the members made a request to knit washcloths for the troops. I feel anything we can do for them is so miniscule for what they are doing for us, but it is something I can do and with much thanks for what they do. One ugly woman said that it is their job and why should we be doing anything for them. How ugly can a person get? They are not asking for things, groups are springing up giving them little tokens of thanks and love and prayer. So this proceeded to gather up the email writings like crazy and since Thursday this has clogged this group's emails. Several people have dropped out (personnally just hit the delete key) and the moderator has not chimed in yet, wonder why?
Any way do you ever wonder where these ugly people come from? Did something so awful happen to them as children they can't be anything but ugly? ONe lady emailed and said she would pray for this woman which I am sure made her even more angry.
I feel anything I can do to say thanks for what they are doing is so small. I can not imagine being in Iraq with minimal pay wondering if it is your last day on earth and watching others die. Something that will live with them all their lives. I have no right to be ugly about them. So if you can pitch in and send some small token of thanks to the troops please take the time to do so.
Any way do you ever wonder where these ugly people come from? Did something so awful happen to them as children they can't be anything but ugly? ONe lady emailed and said she would pray for this woman which I am sure made her even more angry.
I feel anything I can do to say thanks for what they are doing is so small. I can not imagine being in Iraq with minimal pay wondering if it is your last day on earth and watching others die. Something that will live with them all their lives. I have no right to be ugly about them. So if you can pitch in and send some small token of thanks to the troops please take the time to do so.
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