It's Still Winter

This morning it was 11 and I saw a guy on his bicycle peddling on his way down the hiway, it was o dark early and here is this little white bike light on the side of the road, not very safe. As I was reading the Sunday paper and looking at the ads I notice there are bikinis, bermudas, shorts, and sandals. Ok it is snowing like a blizzard out and the store wants me to come buy summer clothes, are you freaking nuts. What am I going to do with summer clothes for 3 months? I store my summer clothes in another closet so I dont have to look at them while I put the wool garments on. The fashion industry needs to look at the calendar and figure Spring is still another month away and the pools dont open here til Memorial Day and sometimes it is still too cold and they don't open. I bet if you needed a winter coat today you could not find one. So while I wish it was warm enough for shorts dont piss me off by putting them in the ads enticing me to come buy summer clothes. It ain't happening. So come Memorial Day I bet we see winter coats in the store. I aint trying on wool at 100 degrees with 85% humidity.

American Idol

Ok now we are getting to the good part, the final 24 will be selected this evening. I like the rocker nurse, the 16 year old kid-I think his name is Danny, the guy from Australia, the girl from England who did not get her VISA two years ago, Asia I think the black girl with the raspy voice. I dont like the kid who lives in his car, they should not have given him a second chance. I kind of liked they could bring their musical instruments but most did not work for them. The kid from Oklahoma who wants to be President some day may be one to watch. I really think this should be the last year for Idol it is getting old and those who win dont seemto sell the CD's like the earlier ones did. There are toooooo many reality shows on now.

I still think Simon should be the only judge. I cant stand Paula, give me abreak what a loser slut she is. And I cant stand Randy either. I really dont know the function of Ryan either. Ok just take it off the air and give me another Law and Order show.

Knitted House for Charity

This lady and house were featured on Graham Norton show last weekend. She brought the dishes and fruit and broom. Graham was like a little kid looking at the stuff> Pretty cool and it is for charity. Take a look.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=460754&in_page_id=1770

Life is Good

Soft spot for Peeps spreads in YorkBY MICHAEL AVOKWORLD-HERALD STAFF WRITERYORK, Neb. - There's going to be a peep show at Wessels Living History Museum on March 15, and it has the full support of the local Chamber of Commerce.In fact, Todd Kirshenbaum, the chamber's executive director, is organizing it.Don't worry. This show is a community art project devoted to an Easter staple - Marshmallow Peeps.The chamber is asking adults and children to create art using Peeps as the main characters. Entries will be on display at the museum next month."The participants can make any sort of art display using the Marshmallow Peeps," Kirshenbaum said. "Last year, a friend of mine found an old Styrofoam turkey and hot-glued peeps all over - a Peeping Tom. We are going to go for more mainstream displays for this event, but we'll take some of the funnier ones, as well."State tourism officials will judge entries in several categories: kids 5 through 10, kids 11 through 15, young adults 16 through 23, and adults over age 24. There will be a "Peeple's choice" award, too. Winners will get ribbons, a supply of Peeps and gift certificates.It's the first year for York's communitywide contest, but Kirshenbaum is a veteran of smaller office contests."Last year, I took a vase and filled it with flowers and cut-up peeps to make Peepouri," he said. "The winning entry was Michael Jackson . . . the King of Peep. It was a collection of vignettes of M.J.'s life depicted in Peeps. Very funny."State tourism officials will be judges because the idea for the show came from that office.Mary Ethel Emanuel, a Lincoln author and longtime public relations and marketing manager for the state tourism division, conducted an annual Peep Art Show. .Emanuel died of pancreatic cancer in 2006 at age 54."She loved peeps and made little art displays in her office," Kirshenbaum said. "This kind of caught on, and it turned into a contest. I asked permission from the tourism office to do a version here, and they said 'yes,' and they will be the judges."Heather Hogue, an office assistant at the Nebraska Division of Travel and Tourism in Lincoln, said she and co-worker Michael Collins team up each year for their office contest. They once did a "Parade of Peeps" that featured more than 30 characters."One year we did a scene from the movie 'Fargo.' We did the wood-chipper scene. (The one where a kidnapper kills his accomplice and puts the body through a wood chipper). That was pretty gruesome. But it was fun."Hogue said they buy Peeps year-round, but usually they hit the discount stores the week after Easter."All the Peeps are on clearance, and we buy a lot of them," she said. Then, they sit in storage for nearly a year before the next contest. "Most of the Peeps we use are months old. Good to work with; not so good to eat."Kirshenbaum said he would be thrilled to get 20 entries in York, and he has heard that folks already are stocking up on Peeps"I love Peeps, always have. Mostly because they are goofy and I can stash them away for months and they are still yummy."Kirshenbaum noted the art projects have a long shelf life, too."There are still many of the exhibits on display in the state tourism office," he said. "Peeps never die." ,

Life is Short-Wear Your Party Pants

I have been cleaning one room at a time in my house. IN the room where my computer is I have my 3 piece bookcase/desk set I had in grade school. Probably the best $100 my parents ever spent.

I found this book that I had bought several years ago that was suggested to me by someone. thanks whoever you are. I noticed I had bookmarked several pages, sticky notes, other notes, etc so it must have meant a lot to me then. I started re-reading it.

So bear with me when I quote things from it that strike me as funny or poignant. I always tell people at work that some people are like a pimple on my butt, very annoying but they just won't go away. So in this book she is talking about these ladies who obsess over their towels and pillows and she says as well all know many times we focus on the small things but it is the larger things that are really bugging us. ...But whateve the reason, the effect is that we can take something that's as insignificant as a pimple on an elephant butt and make it into a nuclear conflict... When you think about it it is pretty funny.

Get a copy of the book it makes for a very fun read and makes you think about things. Put it on your Bucket List.

Mad Money

Hey Hollywood if you make a movie in LA about some other city, make sure it looks like the city. So the movie is set in Kansas City where there is a Federal Reserve Bank downtown. There is no fenced parking at the Federal Reserve in KC, nor does the skyline look like that in the movie.

The movie was ok, made you stop to think if you could get away with it would you steal thousands of dollars that were just going to be shredded anyway.

I give the movie 2 out of 5 stars.

22 Snow Events

What is a snow event? Who creates these titles? Since December 1 we have had 22 snow events with the 23rd to hit today, this means we have had 19" so far. I am so sick of snow. I dont like winter but I can take the cold as long as the snow does not come with it. We had 1.29" of rain and then sleet and then 4" of snow, so I stayed home yesterday I was not in the mood to be a statistic. So what did I do, well I did a lot of piddly little things, watched some DVR'ed TV, and worked on a sock. Of course I knitted, what else do you do on a snow day. I even stayed in my jammies. Well here I am at work waiting for the 23rd snow event. Thanks global warming for the 23 snow events, or should I say thanks Al Gore, didnt he invent global warming like the internet?

Signature Lines

Do you ever read the signature lines of your email? Two of my favs are: Get your knit together and my fav is: save the planet earth, it is the only planet with chocolate.

Happy Mardi Gras, I should put that on my bucket list, if I have not already, always wanted to go. We had pancakes for breakfast and pizza for lunch in the batcave today. Hey afterall it is Fat Tuesday.

My suggestion for politicians since it is Super Tuesday. You get to spend $100K and that is it. Starting Labor Day of Election year you can start, no debates on TV, no travelling, if you can't tell me who you are and what you are going to do in 60 days then you got no business being my President. Write a 2-3 page paper outlining your "stuff" and the newspapers print it for free. I can tell you as a tax payer and federal employee I certainly dont get to take a year off to annoy the heck out of the voters. So who is doing your job while you are out lying to me to get my vote?

I dont really want to vote for any of the candidates this year, no one worthy of my vote, but I do know i am NOT voting for any Democrat, you all are not worthy.

Food for Thought

What does food for thought actually mean and what does Butter My Butt and call me a biscuit mean too. WHere do people come up with these? My father's favorite was always worthless as tits on a boar hog which does actually make sense and tells you just how worthless something is, but butter my butt?

Questions That Haunt Me

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in,' but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts?' Where's that extra penny going?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's inside your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Be careful of those tea parties

, I will tell you ONE of the stories my mother used to tell about me when I was just a toddler. (I am the youngest of a large family and was almost like a grandchild to my own parents!)

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among other injuries.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??' And sure enough........!!!

The Bucket List

I finally got to see The Bucket List over the weekend. Whether you like Jack Nicholson or not I believe this is one movie everyone inthe world needs to see because: it makes you think about your life and whatever time you have left and how you should spend it. I expected to laugh a lot which I did some but you really need to take several kleenexes cos it is a sad movie.

I thought yesterday about my bucket list and while I would like to have a million dollars and be able to quit work and be filthy stinking rich there are a few things I would really like to do and they are simplet things: learn to spin yarn, write a children's book, take a boat ride down the Nile, go to Egypt, go to Australia, go to Vancouver for a week, go to Russia, go to Hong Kong for the silk and fabrics, knit up all my yarn to leave no stash, read all my books to leave no stash. I still have 6 states I have not been in which I would like to do, drive a lamborghini, go to Mardi Gras, attend the World Series especially if the DOdgers are playing.

Think about the things you want to do and why aren't you? Granted the guys in the movie had unlimited funds but there were simple things that required no money, just doing them.

So what is on your Bucket List?

I give this movie 10 stars out of 5.

Smart Ass of the Year Answers

Subject: Smart-Ass Answers of The Year


SMART ASS ANSWER #6 -- It was mealtime during aflight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.SMART ASS ANSWER #5 -- A flight attendant wasstationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashedher. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need tosee your ticket, not your stub.'SMART ASS ANSWER #4 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'




SMART ASS ANSWER #3 -- The cop got out of his carand the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. SMART ASS ANSWER #2 -- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, 'Low Bridge overhead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'

The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.' SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007 -- A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and uttersexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, theteacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.' Two bonus extras:

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps
for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk,
'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?' The clerk says, 'What denomination?' The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this?Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.'A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' He never heard the shot....

Please go away

I am sick of Britney and her family. Obviously her parents did not raise her to be a decent human being. I am so sick of hearing about her, I heard this morning the media makes $120 million from her being stupid and obnoxious.
Paula Adbul, someone push her down the stairs, YOu are over 40, put it away no one wants to see it anymore, she looked like a slut last night, she claims she has a bad back, would you wear 4" heels?
Justin Timberlake, you AIN'T sexy, never was, never will be, you are nothing but a little skinny scruff, lay down so I can wipe the mud off my shoes on you.
Brad Pitt, see Justin Timberlake.
Georg Clooney, I dont get it either.
Oprah, how arrogant and racist can she get before her 15 minutes of fame are over. I dont know who you think you are but you are not all that.
Election commercials, go away, I am so sick of these, my candidate Fred Thompson is gone, so no one worth voting for.
Ellen, you ain't funny and I dont like to see her straddle a table and dance over it, i just gave myself the heebie jeebies.
Rosie O'donnell and donald trump. As Larry the Cable Guy calls her Rosie o fat ass. they both need to go.

Now Justin if you want to see sexy, look at sean connery in a tux, tom selleck in a tux, sam elliot-just listen to that voice. Margaret Thatcher-that is a classy broad.

So those in my go away list please do us all a favor and go away.